


Blossom

by BreatheSymphonies



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Never Met, Angst, Concerts, Drinking, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, Music, Smoking, They've already passed away before this story begins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 11:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11804892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreatheSymphonies/pseuds/BreatheSymphonies
Summary: Haru is a twenty one year old guitar player in a band who can't seem to get over his past. He's bottled it up along with his emotions. One day he gets in trouble at work and is moved to a different part of the store. There he meets a fun, energetic girl and a cute, sweet as can be guy. He never thought it would happen, but they help tear his walls down and he lets himself feel friendship and love again.





	Blossom

**Author's Note:**

> I know my summary for this fic isn't the greatest, but I hope you all give this a read.
> 
> I've been writing it for a few weeks now so I'm happy I'm finally done with it. This fic was inspired by Yvette Young's new EP [Acoustics 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQY-P_SeWXA). It's so beautiful, I highly recommend giving it a listen.
> 
> Anyways I was listening to it and just started thinking about a MakoHaru fic and this is what I came up with. 
> 
> The songs I use for Haru's band are from Yvette's band named Covet. I recommend giving them a listen too. :D
> 
> There are mentions of cancer and death, but the character is deceased before the story even begins, so no one actually dies in the duration of this fic.
> 
> I'm not sure if it's necessary, but I'll just write that I don't own the rights to these songs and everything here is fictional and for fun! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“We’re moving you to the Starbucks.”

“Why?” Haru asks his manager, Tony. He’s a tall italian man with short black hair. They’re sitting across from each other at a table in the front office. Haru is slouched in the chair in his terrible red shirt and khakis. He really hates this uniform.

“Some of the other managers feel like Customer Service isn’t the best fit for you.”

Haru raises an eyebrow and asks, “Why do they think that?”

“You told a woman to come back in six hours and try to fool some other idiot.”

“She was trying to return items we don’t even sell here. One of her items had a Walmart tag on it. I know people don’t think us Target workers have the brightest minds, but come on.”

“Fair enough, but they feel like a more behind the scenes position would suit you better for the time being.”

“How am I going to be behind the scenes at Starbucks?”

“You’ll be making the coffee, not taking the orders.”

“Hmm, you sure it’s not the lip ring?” He smirks.

“I think it’s your terrifying personality actually.” Tony smirks back.

Haru shrugs, “Can’t be helped.”

“Look, Haru. You’re not much of a people person and I get it, but you’re a damn good worker despite the intimidating demeanor. The other managers acknowledge this too, which is why you’re not being fired right now. Making coffee at the Starbucks wasn’t my first choice, but give it a try and see how you feel about it. I’ll come check in sometimes. You’re a good kid and play some great guitar. I can see you going places.”

Haru turns away and huffs, “I’m not a kid, I’m twenty one.”

Tony laughs, “At thirty five, you’re a kid to me. I’m serious though. Keep working hard at everything you do. Great things will come your way.”

“Thanks, Tony.” Haru says without looking at his manager. He’s a little embarrassed by the praise and hopes that Tony can’t see him blushing.

“No problem kid. Now get to work.”

Haru lets out a heavy sigh and slowly gets up from his chair.

“If I were any other manager, I’d expect a ‘yes sir’ and hate the reaction you gave me just now, but I’m the cool manager and I get your rebellious rock star attitude.”

“If I were any other employee I’d probably ignore that lame sentence that proves you are a lot farther away from being cool than you think you are.”

“Haru, don’t make me fire you.”

“Don’t make me take you off the guest list.”

“Shh, that’s a secret. No one else can know I go to your shows… When is the next one?”

“Three weeks.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Okay. I”m off to spill coffee on customers I don’t like.”

“HARU, DON’T YOU DARE-” He closes the door to cut Tony off and smirks. His manager knows that he won’t actually do it, but he can never be too sure.

He looks up and sees a girl staring at him from her register.

“What?” He asks and she quickly turns away waiting for a customer.

It’s nothing new. People avoiding eye contact or any type of contact with him for that matter. Rin used to tell him he had the bitchiest resting bitch face he’d ever seen. Haru’s lips battle between smiling and frowning. Maybe one day he’ll be able to work through his clashing emotions.

He gets why people react the way they do. He gives off an intimidating vibe and isn’t the friendliest of people. He hates small talk. He’s never seen the point in it. He’d rather have meaningful conversations than talk about the weather. 

Usually when people find out he plays guitar in a band they try to talk to him about it, but it usually gets no where. Either his music isn’t their type or they just want free admission and drinks. He doesn’t know why people think he can do these things for them. Yeah, music is one of his passions, but he’s just a nobody in a band with other nobodies. They just play music and book local shows because they love doing it. Occasionally he’ll come across a girl who seems really into his music, but in the end just wants to say she has a boyfriend in a band and doesn’t actually care for it. He hates those occasions because he knows plenty of women out there who legitimately love and play the music and those few he encounters just feed into the stone age stereotype of only listening to the music to seem cool. He also hates those encounters because he hates having to tell them he’s only interested in men and the awkward thirty seconds that follow before they leave him alone.

Haru’s a firm believer in loving whatever it is that you love without caring what others think. The same goes for not loving something no matter what others think. He tries to live a life that will make him happy, especially with all that he’s lost. He made a promise and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to keep it.

 

Haru makes his way to the Starbucks and sees it is empty at the moment. He walks behind the counter and a girl with long wavy brown hair in a ponytail stops wiping the counter to look at him. 

“You must be Haru. They told me you’d be joining us.” Us? He didn’t see anyone else around.

“I’m Fiona. You can call me Fi if you’d like.” She introduces herself and holds out her hand.

“Nice to meet you.” Haru says before shaking it.

“Makoto and I are usually the ones here being everyone else hates working this section. He’ll be back shortly, he’s on break.” Haru nods in response.

“I’ll give you the rundown of everything. We have a cheat sheet for drinks and we can help you out with the more complicated orders. You’ll get the hang of it quickly though. Tony told me you pick things up easily and are a good worker. I trust him and his opinion that you’re not as scary as others here make you out to be.” She says with a smirk.

Haru huffs out a laugh. Tony would have talked to the person running the show here beforehand. He thinks he’ll like this girl. She seems pretty down to earth and doesn’t seem intimidated by him at all. He hopes the other guy is cool too.

“Availability wise, you, Makoto and I will primarily be working together. I don’t know what you did exactly to be kicked out of customer service, but I’ll have to thank you because the guy we had working with us that they switched you with was a nightmare. Not to sound rude, but I’m glad his lazy ass is in another department.”

“I can assure you I am not lazy even if I may seem to want to be anywhere else.”

“That’s exactly what Tony said and like I said, I trust him. So what do you say we get to work, huh?”

Fiona does a quick, but thorough run through. Haru was sure he’d have everything down in no time. 

“Also you don’t have to wear your red polo here, a plain black t-shirt will do.” She says before looking behind Haru and greeting someone.

“Ah, Makoto! This is Haru! Haru, this is our precious cinnamon roll of a coworker, Makoto.” 

“Fi, can you stop introducing me to people like that? It’s...” Makoto’s already present blush spreads when he looks at Haru before finishing his sentence. “Embarrassing.”

Fiona giggles and walks away to greet a customer.

Haru blinks at Makoto’s blushing face. He knows he’s being rude, but he can’t help but stare. He thought he’d seen everyone around that works here. He even remembers Fiona’s face, but he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Makoto. He would have remembered his face. It’s beautiful. He can feel his face heat up at that thought. He blinks a few more times before he clears his throat.

“Hi, I’m Haru.” He says as he extends his hand and gives an awkward smile.

“Hi, I’m Makoto. It’s nice to meet you. I’m sure Fi told you that Tony put in a good word for you.”

“Yeah, I can promise you I won’t be a problem.”

“Says the guy that was kicked out of customer service.” Fiona laughs while making the customer’s drink.

“Fi! Be nice! I’m sure there was a good reason. Customer service is hard.” Makoto shushes her. Haru can see why she called him a precious cinnamon roll. He is really sweet and seems like the type to try and stop any type of conflict. Haru can tell he’s a kind hearted person, especially when he’s defending and trying to understand Haru after just meeting him.

“I basically told a customer to go away.” Fiona starts laughing while Makoto looks surprised.

“Are you serious?” She asks after her laughing fit.

“Well, really I told her to come back later and try to fool someone else because she was trying to return items that weren’t even from here. A manager heard me and talked with the other managers and Tony suggested they put me here.”

“Here isn’t much better. That sounds like a mistake.” She says before she calls out for the customer to pick up their drink.

“Tony said I was strictly making drinks and not talking to customers.”

“They still make comments to you as they watch you make their drinks. Don’t worry though, if someone is giving you a hard time I’ll step in if I can.” Makoto says.

“Thanks.” Haru smiles.

“Okay, let’s get back to training you!” Fiona claps her hands and directs the two boys.

 

If anyone had told Haru three months ago that he’d be enjoying his time working in the Target Starbucks, he would have laughed in their faces. He thought this was going to be a disaster the second Tony mentioned it, but he was actually the happiest he’d ever been at his job.

He enjoyed Fiona’s jokes and the way she didn’t take shit from anyone. He also enjoyed Makoto’s softer personality and the genuine conversations they had daily. He had actually become friends with the two of them and had gone to dinner with them a few times. He never in a million years thought he’d spend time with anyone from work other than Tony. These two though, they made him smile and laugh. He realized it had been too long since he last did those things.

“We should go out this weekend! The three of us! Party it up!” Fiona jumps around excitedly. 

“I don’t really party, Fi.” Makoto replies.

“Oh come on, Mako! Loosen up a bit! Get crazy once in awhile!”

“I don’t think Makoto is the type to get crazy and I see nothing wrong with that.” Haru says. Makoto smiles shyly at his words.

“Says the guy in a rock band. I bet you get all types of crazy on stage.” Fiona jumps around some more while head banging. Makoto laughs and Haru smiles.

“That you are wrong about, my dear. Haru is calm and collected while he tears up his guitar.” Tony says as he walks up to the counter.

“I wouldn’t say I tear up my guitar. I just play it.”

“Your fingers move all over the thing. I’ll just consider that tearing it up even if it’s not some crazy metal or something you’re playing. When is your next show anyways?” Tony asks.

“Saturday actually.”

“What?! Why didn’t you say that before!” Fiona yells.

“I was getting to it before Tony came along.”

“Hey, don’t bring me into this.” Tony points at him. He rolls his eyes and continues.

“I’m playing a show at this bar on Saturday. Show starts at eight, but I think we’re going on at nine. I can text you guys the address and details when I get them from my drummer, Ryan. He’s the one that booked it last minute. I think there is a five dollar cover charge which is pretty cheap.”

“Oh my God, this is going to be so much fun!” Fiona yells.

“Fi, I think you’re scaring customers away.” Makoto laughs.

“Screw you, Mako! You should be more excited to see Haru tear it up on stage!”

“Guys, I don’t tear anything up, please stop.” Haru begs.

“We’ll be the judges of that.” Fiona tells him.

“This should be interesting. Well, I gotta get back to work. See you all later!” Tony says as he walks away.

“Interesting indeed. I am excited to see you play though. I’ve never been to a rock show before. Hope I don’t stick out too much.” Makoto says while smiling at Haru. 

He swears he feels a flutter in his stomach. It happened for the first time a few weeks ago when they were out getting sushi. It had been when Makoto smiled at him then too. It seemed to be happening more frequently and Haru didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t felt that flutter in so long. It was somewhat terrifying to him. Why were Makoto’s smiles and words giving him this feeling? Was it because a guy was showing him genuine kindness for the first time in years? He thought maybe this is what friendship feels like, but he never felt that way when Fiona smiled or spoke to him. He decided to continue doing what he’s been doing for a couple of years now and ignore his feelings. He knew that wasn’t the way to go about anything, but he was terrified of his own feelings these days. He’d rather bottle them up than feel anything.

“Don’t worry, Makoto. Tons of different people go to shows. You’ll be fine.” He replies.

 

Makoto looks so out of place. It’s not the way he’s dressed or anything, it’s his demeanor. He looks awkward. He looks like someone that doesn’t frequent bars or clubs. Haru couldn’t help but bring his hand up to hide his smile. Makoto was too cute for words. He was wearing black shoes, dark blue jeans, a green t-shirt and a black hoodie that was unzipped over it. It was a normal casual outfit. He could see he had a drink in his hand and hoped it would help loosen him up. He wonders where Fiona is. Having someone next to him might make him less uncomfortable.

He tries to focus on setting up for his set, but his band members don’t make focusing easy.

“Are you smiling? Oh my God he’s smiling! Ryan take a picture!” His bassist Jeremy jokes.

“What in the world has our brooding Haru smiling?” Ryan asks as he finishes setting up his drums. Haru rolls his eyes.

“Oh, is it that guy over there. The one with the light brown hair in the green shirt? I wasn’t sure what your type was, but I have to say I’m surprised.” Jeremy says.

Haru turns his head away scowling, “Shut up.”

“I thought you’re type was a dude with soft chocolate skin and a perfect jawline like myself.” Ryan busts out laughing and Jeremy shoots him a look.

“Don’t be jealous he’s not into gingers with lumberjack beards, Ryan!. Just accept the fact that my man Haru here only asked me to be in the band because I’m male perfection. Haru’s got the mysterious brooding type down, so someone’s gotta be the good looking band member.”

“And I’m not that guy?” Ryan asks.

“Hell no! You’re the drummer. The ginger bearded drummer. That’s how people refer to you. You can’t compare to this greatness!” Jeremy flexes.

Haru laughs as he picks up his guitar to tune it.

“I’m gonna puke from how full of yourself you are.” Ryan says while adding gagging sounds.

“Come on Haru, tell him I’m everyone’s dream man. Tall, dark and handsome, doesn’t get better than me.”

“No, Jeremy. It doesn’t get better than you.” He responds in a monotone voice.

“You know, I’m here in my bangin’ ass jeans that make my ass look great and my tightest, whitest shirt to emphasis my chiseled abs and you can’t even be real friends and tell me how great I look.”

“You look amazing Jeremy.” Haru says.

“Yeah, your abs are so chiseled.” Ryan agrees.

“Whatever. Keep on keepin’ on with your cargo shorts and black band t-shirt, Ryan, while Haru continues to brood in his gray skinny jeans, black tank top and army boots. You’re both such rock fashionistas.”

“You’re too much sometimes.” Haru says as he finishes tuning his guitar.

“I’m too much? You’re too much pretending to not have an interest in that dude across the bar that hasn’t taken his eyes off you for this entire conversation we’ve had.”

“Isn’t that the guy you work with?” Ryan interjects.

“No! Haru’s got a crush on his coworker? Dude, never shit where you eat.”

“Ugh, shut the fuck up Jeremy and finish tuning.” Haru says as he walks away.

“You didn’t deny it, Nanase!” Jeremy yells after him.

Knowing he doesn’t have much time left before he goes on stage, Haru jogs over to greet Makoto. Makoto looks like he couldn’t be happier to see him. Haru smiles shyly at him. It’s been awhile since someone looked at him this way.

“Hey.” He says lamely. 

“Hey.” Makoto replies.

“You doing okay? You look kinda nervous.”

“Ah, yeah. I’m alright. I’ve never been good in public settings. I get awkward and worry about how out of place I look.” So he’s aware of how awkward he looks. Haru frowns. 

“You only look out of place because you’re making yourself look out of place with your insecurities. You look fine. Just lose yourself in the music. The music is what matters here.”

Makoto smiles wide. “You’re right. I can’t wait to see you play. I know it’s going to be awesome.”

“I’m as good as anyone else here. Don’t let Tony talk me up. Speaking of which, where is he and Fiona?” Haru asks while looking around.

“They’re at the bar.” Makoto answers at the same time they both hear Fiona’s loud mouth. She has her hair down and is wearing a simple red tank top, star printed black jeans and black boots. Tony is wearing his usual show outfit that consists of a black band t-shirt that he’s probably had for ten or more years and blue jeans.

“HARU! Looking good! You look the part of guitar player. Really digging the tattoos.” Haru smiles softly at her. He had noticed Makoto glancing at them, but trying not to stare. 

He has one on each shoulder. The one on his right shoulder is a dolphin swimming underwater. Light reflecting off the water and onto the dolphin with the background full of sea plants and a few small fish here and there. The one on his left shoulder is almost the same background wise. Similar sea plants with scattered fish. The only difference is this one has a shark. Neither Makoto or Fiona had ever noticed them because Haru had always worn hoodies or t-shirts that covered them. Tony on the other hand has seen them plenty of times and just laughs at how the other two stare as Haru shows them both more closely. 

“Haru! Showtime!” Ryan yells over to him. Haru turns to his three friends and smiles.

“Well, gotta go.”

“WHOO TEAR IT UP! Wait here’s a shot for you, my dear. You too my other super awkward dear.” Fiona yells and then kindly hands him and Makoto shots of something clear.

“To Haru’s sweet guitar fingers!” Tony shouts.

Haru and Makoto look at each other and smirk before cheersing with Fiona and Tony. They down their shots, tequila was Fiona’s choice, and everyone wishes Haru good luck.

Haru glances at Makoto and smiles one last time before jogging back to the stage. He didn’t know why they were making such a fuss over him and his show, but he was really happy to have the three of them there to support him instead of just Tony. He decided he’s play his best tonight for them. 

Especially Makoto.

It was his first show ever, so he wanted to make it a good performance for him. He could only hope he’d enjoy the music.

He picks up his guitar and gets ready. On his left, Jeremy walks up to the mic and greets the crowd.

“Hello everyone! We are The Silent Swimmers! We do not have a singer and no we do not want one! Listen to the music you fools! Also, we enjoy swimming. Let’s go!”

Jeremy steps back from the mic and Ryan clicks his drumsticks together to set the tempo and start the [song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOVNzU5agQY)

Haru’s finger fly over the neck of the guitar starting off fast and beautifully. Makoto’s eyes go wide and his jaw drops. He figured Haru would be good, but he is phenomenal. It looks as though his fingers are barely touching the guitar. He makes it look effortless while throwing so many notes at them. He looks and sounds amazing and Makoto can’t help the wide grin he wears the entire time they play the song. 

Jeremy is enthusiastic with his movements as he plays, moving all over his side of the stage. He engages fans and dances around. Ryan looks calm and collected, but has a small smile the entire time he plays and nods his head to the beat. He looks like he genuinely enjoys the music he is creating. Haru doesn’t move around like Jeremy does. He for the most part stays in one spot, swaying and nodding to the music. They can see he’s feeling the music he’s playing entirely. 

His eyes are closed for the most part. He opens them every once in awhile and looks around. He looks their way and smiles slightly. Makoto can only imagine Fiona’s reaction judging by his own. He’d look at her if he could take his eyes off of Haru.

They end the song and Fiona is screaming her head off. Makoto wonders how much she’s actually had to drink. She looks pretty drunk.

“Thank you! Thank you! You’re all too kind. Hope you enjoy this next one!” Jeremy says before they start the next [song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5OJNVKqLmM)

This one is a little more laid back than the last one, but Haru’s fingers still dance over the strings gracefully. He seems to really enjoy this one because he’s moving around stage more. His hips are swaying with the rest of his body.

Makoto may be tipsy from that shot because he can’t help but blush at how cute he thinks Haru’s facial expressions are while he plays. 

After they end their second song, Jeremy introduces the three of them to the crowd. They play a few more songs before wrapping it up.

Their last [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72bSybRangA&list=RDD5OJNVKqLmM&index=2) is airy and fun, but easy going. Even with how chill of a song it is, Haru’s fingers still move quickly and elegantly. Makoto can’t get enough of watching him play. He’s sad when their set ends. 

Jeremy thanks the crowd and the three of them quickly start packing up their equipment.

“Let’s get more drinks while we wait for Haru to finish packing up.” Fiona suggests. 

Makoto agrees and heads to the bar with Tony and Fiona. He decides to buy Haru a drink too. He orders Haru a beer at Tony’s suggestion and they make their way back towards the pool tables in the back of the bar. Luckily one is open and Fiona drunkenly challenges Tony to a game.

Makoto watches as Fiona plays well even with how drunk she is. He had expected her to not be able to hold the pool stick, let alone stay evenly matched with Tony. He can see the frustration on Tony’s face. He thought he’d win easily. 

Makoto suddenly feels a tap on his shoulder as Haru comes to stand next to him.

Haru silently thanks Makoto for being tall because he doesn’t think he would have found them as quickly as he did. Makoto gives him a beaming smile and Haru thinks his heart might stop.

“Haru, you were so awesome! You’re so good! I could have watched you play for hours!” Makoto starts blushing when he realizes what he’s said, but he hopes Haru chalks his red cheeks up to the alcohol he’s been drinking. The alcohol is the reason he blurted that out too. He should slow down on the drinking. He’s a lightweight and knows it won’t take much to get him drunk. 

Haru can’t help but blush at the compliment and can feel his face heat up even more when Makoto hands him a beer.

“Here, I bought this for you. It might be a little warm now, but not intolerable.”

“Thank you.” Haru smiles shyly. Makoto is going to be the death of him tonight. 

“Oh I see someone already beat me to it. I bought you a beer to say thanks for playing the best show we’ve ever played with me tonight, but it seems someone else bought you a drink first.” Jeremy says as he winks at Haru.

Haru scowls and takes the beer from Jeremy. “I’ll drink both.”

Jeremy laughs and turns to Makoto.

“Hey, I’m Jeremy. Haru’s bassist/wingman/main bro. He acts like he hates me, but really he loves me like family.” Makoto laughs and introduces himself.

“Oh so you’re one of his coworkers? Nice. He mentioned to me and Ryan he finally found people at work he likes. I think you’re his favorite though. You don’t force him to interact. I say he needs to interact with people more, but whatever makes him happy.”

“Oh my God, are you my mom? Go be lame somewhere else.” Haru says as he pushes Jeremy away. Makoto notices one of his beers is already empty.

“Okay, okay. I’ll leave you two alone. I’m gonna go wingman it up for Ryan. See ya later!” He says with a wink and a wave goodbye.

Haru knows what Jeremy was trying to do, but he’d rather die than let Jeremy continue to dance around how he feels about Makoto until Makoto figures it out. He hates that Jeremy can so blatantly see how Haru feels about Makoto. That’s why he downed his first beer and was working on downing his second one. He can’t be sober right now if everyone was going to throw hints at Makoto likes this. He’d rather tell Makoto a different way. 

Fiona wins the game, much to Tony and Makoto’s disbelief, and notices Haru for the first time since he walked over to them. She rushes over to him and jumps on him to give his a big hug.

“Oh my God, Haru! You were fucking amazing! Please tell us when all your shows are. We are going to be your groupies.”

“Whoa, I don’t want to be labeled a groupie.” Tony interjects.

“Fine then Makoto and I will be his groupies, Right Makoto?” Fiona whips around ungracefully to look at Makoto.

“Uh… Sure?” He look unsure of how he feels being label Haru’s groupie.

A laugh bubbles up in Haru and he starts giggling. He’s always been kind of a lightweight, so he contemplates whether he should get another drink or not.

“See, Haru likes the idea of having groupies. He can’t contain his joy. So us three are his groupies.”

“I said I’m not a groupie. I’m a fan.”

“Play me again and if you beat me, you can be a fan. If I win, I’m calling you a groupie with us.” Fiona challenges.

“You’re on little girl!” Tony yells and heads back to the table with her.

“I’m actually gonna head out back for a smoke. Wanna join?” Haru asks Makoto

“You smoke?”

“Mostly when I’m playing or drinking. I’ll have a smoke on my breaks at work or when I go for a walk to think. I don’t smoke that many a day unless I’m having a really bad day. Does it bother you?”

“No! I just didn’t know that about you. I don’t smoke, but I will join you.” Makoto smiles reassuringly. He didn’t want Haru to think he disapproves or was disappointed in him for it.

The two of them walk out back and sit on a bench in the corner. It’s dimly lit around there and Makoto thinks Haru probably picked this spot because of that reason. After being stopped a few times by people complimenting him on his set, Makoto figured he’d want to sit somewhere he could just relax and not have to speak with anyone. He lights up a cigarette and takes a drag before turning to look at Makoto.

“So you liked our set?” 

“Yeah, it was awesome! I like your sound. It’s different than what I’ve ever heard, but I usually just listen to the radio as lame as that sounds. I mean I’ve never even been to something like this. I’m so boring.”

“You’re not lame or boring. Not everyone lives the same lives or likes the same things. I’m just happy you liked our music and seem to be enjoying yourself.”

“I am. I’m having a great time. You really are amazing, Haru. You play so beautifully. Sorry, that was a lame way to describe your playing. I’ll think of something cooler.” Makoto laughs.

“No, that’s fine. Someone used to always tell me I played beautifully. I came to love that compliment the most out of any of the ones I’d received. So, thank you.” Haru looks at Makoto and smiles affectionately.

“Well then I’ll say it again. You play beautifully, Haru. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.” Haru inhales sharply and stares at Makoto while he continues talking. 

“I wasn’t joking when I said I could watch you play all night. I know I haven’t seen many people play guitar, but I’ve never seen anyone play like that. It’s entrancing.”

Haru doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or if Makoto now has him entranced with his words, but all thought process goes out the window as Haru leans in and presses his lips to Makoto’s. 

He feels Makoto stiffen which makes him pull away hastily. Makoto’s eyes are wide and Haru knows his are as well. Why did he do that? Why did he ask Makoto to come out here when he was trying to do the exact opposite of what happened? Why couldn’t he just stop being stupid and fully admit to himself and everyone else that he has feelings for Makoto before this? Why can’t he get over the past and stop trying to force himself to not feel anything? He fucked up.

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. That was totally not cool of me. I don’t even know how you feel about me. Shit, I don’t even know your sexual orientation. You could not even like guys or me and here I am just planting my lips on yours without any consent and fuck. I fucked up. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking stupid.”

“Haru!” Makoto interrupts his rambling. “Just… Breathe for a second, okay?”

“I can’t.” Haru shakes his head. His eyes still wide in shock at what he’d just done.

“You can.” Makoto places his hands on Haru’s shoulders and smiles.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“You could have punched me in the face and would have probably been justified.”

“I could never punch someone in the face. I’m too nice for that. I also don’t think violence is the proper response to anything. Fiona would probably disagree.”

“Are you going to have Fiona punch me if the face?”

“Oh my God, Haru, no! I just said I don’t think violence is the answer. Please calm down so you can listen to what I’m about to say to you.”

Haru takes a few deep breathes and say, “Okay.”

“I like you. A lot.”

“What?” Haru asks stupidly.

“Haru, I _like_ you. So much that Fiona teases me immensely for it.”

“I… What?’

Makoto can’t help but laugh. He never in a million years thought he’d be the calm and collected one in the confession scenario. 

“To answer the things you mentioned earlier, I’m into men and also into you. I was always afraid that you knew and just ignored it to not make anything awkward. I also wasn’t sure what your sexual orientation was. I didn’t want to assume. I’m sorry for being so shocked before, you just took me by surprise. I was considering saying something to you about how I felt, but then you kissed me. I was happy, but ultimately shocked. I’m sorry if you read that as rejection.”

“I’m still sorry for just swooping in and kissing you. It’s not exactly how I thought the first kiss would go.”

“It’s okay. If you want, you can try again.” Makoto says shyly. He knows he’s blushing profusely and is thankful for how dimly lit the area is.

“O-Okay.” Haru says. Makoto can’t tell, but Haru’s face is just as red.

Haru gently cups Makoto’s cheeks and leans in to softly press their lips together. Makoto moves a hand from Haru’s shoulder the back of his neck. He pulls Haru into the kiss more. He doesn’t know why Haru is being hesitant, but he’s trying to show him it’s alright to dive in.

Makoto’s lips are so soft. Haru feels a little embarrassed by his somewhat chapped lips, but Makoto doesn’t seem to mind as he swipes his tongue across them to ask Haru to deepen the kiss. Haru tastes of beer and cigarettes, but Makoto doesn’t care. It’s actually not as off putting as he thinks it should be to him. Maybe it’s because it’s Haru and this is all he’s thought about for weeks. Kissing him like this. Tongues swirling around together and some occasional lip biting. 

Haru isn’t sure how long they’ve been kissing, he’s on cloud nine right now. He only comes back to reality when he hears someone calling his name.

“Haru? You over here? Oh, shit. Nevermind. Jeremy let’s go back inside.” The two immediately pull apart when they hear Ryan, but it’s too late. Ryan was trying to take the attention away from them, but Jeremy had seen.

“Yes! My man Haru! Get it boy!” Jeremy shouts.

“Jeremy, shut the fuck up and go inside!” Ryan yells at him as he pushes him back towards the door to the bar.

“Well, cat’s outta the bag I guess.” Makoto giggles. Haru smiles and huff out a laugh.

“Yeah I guess so. Should we prepare for Fiona? Because you know Jeremy is running to tell her and Tony right now.”

“Yes, I think we should.” 

“Hey, Makoto?” Haru grabs Makoto’s hand and looks him straight in the eyes.

“Yes?” Makoto says as he interlocks their fingers.

“Would you go on a date with me?” Haru asks nervously. He isn’t sure why he’s so nervous when he was just swapping spit with him, but he hasn’t been on a date in so long. He doesn’t know how to do this without being awkward. 

“I would love nothing more than to go on a date with you.” This makes Haru grin like a lovestruck idiot, but he doesn’t care, because Makoto said yes.

“I’m going to kiss you one more time before Fiona comes crashing through that door.” 

“Sounds good.” Makoto replies before Haru presses their lips together again.

 

Their first date was exactly how Haru thought it would be. They had decided on a simple dinner at a restaurant they’d both been wanting to try. Haru had been extremely nervous beforehand. He didn’t remember what a date was supposed to be like. He could tell Makoto wasn’t too sure of himself either and they both confessed to not having been on a date in a while. After that it seemed all the awkwardness had vanished.

As they grew more comfortable, Haru realized this was just like every other time he’d gone out with Makoto. The only difference was they were alone and it was a romantic outing instead of friends hanging out together. He thought he’d be more uncomfortable with those facts, but it seemed so natural with Makoto. Their conversations never wavered and they never got bored. They were still shy with each other when it came to showing any form of affection, but they found each other’s bashfulness adorable.

The restaurant they had gone to was in the downtown area, so after dinner they walked around, going into the small shops. Makoto slipped his hand into Haru’s and saw the small smile he gave for the gesture. This in turn made Makoto smile. 

They had kept it simple and only kissed goodnight after Makoto drove Haru home. They didn’t want to rush anything. Especially Haru. He never thought he’d be doing any of this with anyone ever again, so he wanted to take it slow. He was terrified about the future of this. He had had everything ripped away from him once. He didn’t want to go through that again.

 

For their second date they had gone bowling. Haru didn’t think he’d have as much fun as he did. They were both terrible and made bets on who would lose. Makoto’s bet if he lost that he’d get a kiss from Haru. Haru told him he didn’t need a bet for that. Haru’s bet was that if he lost, their next date would be at the beach. Even though losing was in their best interests, they both tried the best they could to win. Haru lost every game they played. He was just that bad. Makoto still got his kiss though.

 

It had been a long day. It was their third date and they spent most of the afternoon at the beach, in the water. Well, really it was Haru swimming in the water while Maoko stood at the shore letting the water lap around his legs. He wasn’t a fan of the ocean, but was happy to watch Haru float around in it. He looked happy in the water.

After Haru had gotten his fill he spent the rest of the time walking along the shore with Makoto, hand in hand. They eventually made their way back to Haru’s car and headed back to his place.

There Makoto showered and changed. They hadn’t made any plans for the night, so Makoto thought of suggesting take out and a movie. He was sure Haru would be okay with that. After he was out Haru jumped in. 

Makoto wasn’t sure why, but being alone in Haru’s apartment while he showered was making him nervous. They’ve spent so much time together since they’ve met. They’ve gotten to know each other better and they’ve already gotten past the awkward first kiss, which hadn’t been awkward at all, and were on their third date. He shouldn’t feel nervous, but being in Haru’s apartment was making him nervous. They were truly alone and this was Haru’s personal space. This was where he spent all his time. Here in the living room is where he writes all his music. It was obvious that he originally shared this apartment with his parents, but Haru was making it look like his own. There was artwork all over the walls that Makoto was sure Haru’s parents didn’t hang up. There was music equipment everywhere. The couch and loveseat looked outdated as well as the entertainment center. The new TV Haru had was only making it look older. 

Trying to get a closer look at a painting, he sidestepped Haru’s acoustic guitar in it’s stand and accidentally bumped the computer desk. A leather bound journal fell off the desk and a few papers fell out. Makoto quickly picked everything up and noticed music notes on the sheets of paper.

This was obviously where Haru wrote down all his music. It looked old and worn out. He wondered how long Haru had had this and how old these songs were. He couldn’t read the music, but there were lyrics along the top and he started to read them. The song was sad, but also beautiful. It looked like the title was “Tender” and it seemed to be about someone going through a hard time and the person singing wanting them to know they were there for them and loved them.

_Daylight fades away, and you’re looking for an escape from everything_  
_Follow my voice, and I’ll serenade you through your darkest nights_  
_Weakness takes its toll- I hope you know that you’re not alone in suffering_  


_When you are blue, I will be there for you_  


_I know this hurts, we all hurt sometimes_  
_Just know this will all subside- I won’t let you lose control again_  


_Daylight fades away, and temptation grows ever strong inside of you_  
_You are so good, just know that mistakes don’t define a man_  
_Trust can feel so wrong. Someday you’ll trust that I’m here to stay, please take your time_  
_Nothing is real but I still believe in you_  
_Push me away… When you love someone, you love them patiently, and I won’t let you slip away from me_

_Close your eyes, don’t be afraid of it, we’re all waiting from the other side_  
_Under my spell, you will find the strength to leave your fears behind_  
_I’ve got this light to give_  
_You and me, we could fall asleep and wake up to a new sunrise_

Something else sticking out of the journal caught Makoto’s eye. He slipped it out and saw it was a photograph that someone had captured of Haru and a guy with dark red hair. They were holding hands and the redhead had his head thrown back in laughter while Haru was smiling at him affectionately. Makoto was almost shocked by the amount of love in Haru’s facial expression. It was a beautiful photo. 

_He must of really loved this guy._ Makoto thinks. He wondered if that song was for him. He then wondered what happened to the guy and if they had broken up. If that was the case, why was Haru still holding on to this photo? He flips through a few more pages and reads more sad, but beautiful songs. He obviously went through some hards times with this guy if they’re about him.

“What are you doing?” Makoto hears suddenly. He turns to Haru now standing in the living room with him. He looks panicked and angry.

“Oh, sorry. I bumped into the desk and this fell, so I picked it up and tried to put the papers back in.” Makoto says as he puts the papers back in the journal neatly and places it back on the desk.

“And you decided to go through it?” Haru asks while scowling.

“I didn’t mean to, the papers that fell out caught my eye and I just read some of the lyrics, which are wonderful by the way. Then I kinda looked at more. Sorry, I’m just intrigued by your musicianship and wanted to see more of it. This photo also fell out… Ex?” Makoto asks as he flips the picture around to show Haru.

Haru’s scowl is replaced by a sad frown when he sees it. He walks briskly to Makoto and snatches the picture from his hand.

“Get out.” He says as he places the picture back in the journal.

“What?” Makoto asks in surprise.

“I said get out. Now.” He says without turning around.

“Haru, please. I’m sorry-”

“Now!” Haru yells as he whips around to face him. “Just go.”

He looks so upset and Makoto doesn’t know what to do other than what he’s been told. Haru follows him to the door and as Makoto turns around to apologize again, Haru slams it in his face.

He screwed up big time. It seems that journal of songs was more personal than he thought. He knew better than to look through people’s things without their permission. He sighs and turns to leave. He suddenly sees an old woman coming towards him and smiles.

“You must be the new boyfriend.” The old woman says to him.

“What? Oh, no. Haru and I are just kind of dating, we’re not official or anything.” He says awkwardly. He can feel himself blushing. Right now he isn’t even sure if they’re still dating. He’ll talk to Haru about it when he gets the chance to and hopefully work things out. He just hopes tomorrow’s shift isn’t too awkward. Maybe he’ll text him to ask to talk about what just happened beforehand.

“Well, whatever you are to him, you’ve obviously had a positive impact on him. He’s writing songs again.

Makoto blushes more. “No, it’s not me. He’s in a band so he’s probably writing for them.”

“No, I know the difference between his band’s songs and his personal songs. He may have the same style of play, but the sound is definitely different to me. I’ve known that kid for most of his life and I’ve heard him play so many times. I know when it’s for him or someone else specifically and when it’s for his band.”

“Well I’m sure it’s not me. He’s a great musician, he probably takes inspiration from everywhere.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you. What I meant when I said he’s writing songs again was that he hasn’t written a personal song in two years. He rarely plays when he’s alone and if he is playing, it’s always his band’s songs. The other day though, he was writing a personal song. I could hear him on the balcony. It’s his first one in _two_ years. You’re the only thing that’s different. It’s definitely you.”

Makoto stares at her. He doesn’t know what to say. How is he supposed to respond to that? The old woman smiles at him and goes into her apartment. So much has happened in the last couple of minutes and he doesn’t know how to comprehend everything. 

He slowly walks to his car and heads home. The whole time he thinks of how he can apologize to Haru for crossing a line and invading his personal life.

 

The next morning he sends Haru a text to meet up before their shift to talk. He never gets a response and that worries him. He sees Fiona arrive early too and asks her about it.

“Haru called out.” She responds.

“He what?” Makoto asks in disbelief.

“Yeah I know, that’s not like him. You guys eat some bad food last night?” 

“No. Uh… maybe he just came down with something. We’ll manage though.”

“Don’t look so sad, my friend. You guys have been spending so much time together, absence will make the heart grow fonder.”

Makoto frowns. “I can only hope so.”

“What’s that mean?” She asks, eyebrow raised and looking at him curiously.

“Oh, nothing. I guess let’s get ready. It’s gonna be busy with just the two of us.” He says.

Makoto has the hardest work day he’s ever had that day. He’s unfocused and slow. Fiona asks several times if something is going on, but he just tells her he had a bad night’s sleep. She makes a joke about too much sexy time with Haru, but Makoto doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t even blush. She knows something is wrong, but she doesn’t ask anymore questions. She’s pushes through the rest of the shift and hopes that whatever is going on is resolved by tomorrow.

As Makoto is walking to his car to head home for the day his phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out and almost drops it when he sees Haru’s name. It’s a text asking Makoto to come over. He responds quickly and rushes over to Haru’s place.

 

He knocks on the door and waits impatiently for Haru to answer it. When he finally does, Makoto can see he obviously didn’t sleep last night or at all today. His hair is a mess and he has dark circles under his eyes. He’s in a white t-shirt and black sweatpants. He steps aside and gestures for Makoto to come in.

“Have a seat.” He says when Makoto walks into the living room. Makoto sits on the couch and Haru sits on the loveseat. Makoto stars to speak, but Haru stops him.

“I want to say that I’m sorry for the way I acted and for kicking you out yesterday.” Haru apologizes.

“It’s okay. I should be the one saying sorry. I shouldn’t have been looking through something that was obviously so private.”

“No, you don’t have to apologize. You didn’t know it was something so precious to me. Honestly if you had found any of my other music journals I wouldn’t have cared. That one… It’s the one that means the most to me. It’s… the one where I bared my soul.”

“Haru… I don’t want to ask about it if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, I want to talk about it. I _need_ to talk about it. Reacting the way I did made me realize that I need to stop avoiding the past and avoiding what happened.”

“Does it have to do with the guy in that picture?”

“Yes. His name was Rin. He was the love of my life. I know that sounds so stupid coming from someone so young, but I loved him with all my heart.”

“Did you guys have a bad breakup?”

“No… He died.”

Makoto couldn’t help his surprised gasp and covered his mouth. His eyes widened when he saw Haru’s glassy eyes. He could see Haru holding back tears.

“Haru, you really don’t have to talk about this if it’s too much for you.”

“No, Makoto, I need to. I’ve never actually told anyone our story. I think it would be good for me.”

Makoto nods and gives a small smile of encouragement. Haru gives his own half smile, happy for the support Makoto was giving him.

“I met Rin when I was thirteen. I was at a neighbor’s birthday party. I didn’t particularly like the kid, but my parents got along with his parents, so they dragged me there. Rin found me hanging out by myself on the front porch with my guitar. I had begged my parents to let me take it with me because I knew I was going to hate being there. I wasn’t that good, but still good enough for simple songs. I think my parents had hoped I’d play it with the other kids and maybe teach some things. They were hopeful for an outgoing Haru to emerge, but that was never going to happen.” Haru laughs and it makes Makoto smile.

“He got so excited and started rambling about music and asking what I could play. I was about to tell him to leave me alone when he said that he was so bored and didn’t like any of the kids inside. I kinda laughed because I felt the same way. He then asked if I could play something for him. I asked him what he wanted me to play and he said it didn’t matter what he wanted me to play, it mattered what I wanted to play. I was kind of blown away by that. No one had ever let me play whatever I wanted, they always had requests or suggestions. So I played the first song I had ever written myself. It didn’t have any lyrics, just guitar. When I finished he lost it. He kept telling me how awesome it was and asked if I had written it and was even more enthusiastic when I said I did. We became fast friends after that.”

Makoto could tell Haru was moving on to the next stage of their relationship by the way Haru repositioned himself on the couch. He was getting more serious.

“Then we ended up at the same high school, so we got to spend everyday together. We were both so excited. What could be better than seeing your best friend every day? For me though, it was a little different. I was slowly figuring out my sexuality and realizing I didn’t really have an interest in girls. I didn’t tell Rin because I was scared. I didn’t know how he would react to his best friend being gay. I honestly had no plan on telling him. Then one day I saw a girl confessing to Rin. This feeling rose up in me and I was angry at the girl. I wanted her to go away and leave Rin alone. I didn’t know why I had felt that way. I thought maybe it was because I didn’t like her and that was it.”

“But that wasn’t it was it?” Makoto said with a smile. Haru snorted and Makoto let out a laugh. He thought that was the cutest thing he’d ever witnessed Haru do.

“No, that was not it. I didn’t realize it until maybe the third girl confessed to Rin. I realized it was _jealousy_. I didn’t know what to do. I fought with myself over why exactly I would be jealous of these girls. What really made me realize that I had feelings for Rin was how relieved I was every time he turned those girls down. As a best friend I should have been elated that all these girls were asking him out and questioning him when he turned them down. So that’s how I discovered I had feelings for my best friend.”

“I guess it could have been worse. So, what did you do about it?”

“I panicked at first. I had no clue how to approach this. I had just recently accepted that I was gay and now I had feelings for my best friend. I felt like a walking gay cliche.”

Makoto busted out laughing. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh.”

“I’m serious though.”

“I know you are. I get it. I’ve had my fair share of walking gay cliche moments.” Haru smiles at that and continues.

“So, as any young teenager would do, I tried to ignore my feelings. Didn’t work obviously. He continued to get confessions and continued to turn them down. I did ask him one day why he never accepted and he told me because he didn’t like any of those girls like that and didn’t want to waste his time. He was already busy enough with his part time job, he didn’t want to waste what free time he did have on someone he didn’t care about. I was surprised by his answer but didn’t ask any further questions.

“When my fifteenth birthday rolled around, I just celebrated it with my parents and him at my house. We had dinner and cake. Very simple and that’s how I wanted it. After cake we went upstairs to my room. I sat down on the bed and he told me he had a gift for me. He had had my mom distract me so he could run it up to my room and hide it. He then pulled out the most beautiful acoustic guitar I had ever seen from my closet with a red bow on the neck. I couldn’t believe my eyes. He sat on the bed next to me and handed it to me. I didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes. I was just running my hands over it and he leaned over to ask if i liked it. I turned to him and with all the emotions I was feeling and him being so close, I didn’t think about what I was doing and just leaned in and kissed him.”

Makoto’s eye went wide. He was caught up in the story, but he didn’t miss Haru blushing at the memory. He thought it was cute.

“I see suddenly kissing the person you have feelings for is your preferred method of confessing.” Makoto jokes. 

“Yeah, it would seem that way.” Haru chuckles before continuing.

“When I realized what I was doing, I broke the kiss and stared at him wide eyed and terrified. I immediately started to apologize, just like with you, but stopped when I saw him smile. Then I was just dumbly staring at him. He then brushed my lips with his thumb and moved to caress my cheek. I thought I was going to explode with emotion. I thought I was dreaming for a second. That might have been the reason I suddenly blurted out that I loved him. My heart was racing. Part of me was relieved to have finally admitted it out loud and the other part of me was terrified of his answer. He just smiled wide though, said that was the confession he had been waiting for and leaned in to kiss me.

“I thought I was going to die in that moment. I couldn’t believe any of it was happening. After a few more kisses we talked about everything. We talked about questioning our sexuality and when we finally accepted we were gay. I told him about how I figured out I had feelings for him and he told me he didn’t realize he had feelings for me until he had told me he didn’t want to waste his time with someone he didn’t like. He then thought about how he was saving up almost all of what he was making at his part time job to buy me the guitar and how the only person he wanted to spend his time with was me. Basically from that night on we were inseparable. More so than we already were.”

“Did you guys tell anyone?”

“Not for a while. My mom and his mom kind of figured it out. They told us they had always had suspicions and that they had noticed a shift in our relationship after my birthday. They knew our friendship had turned into a romantic relationship because our interactions seemed more intimate. There was no pda, but they noticed the lingering touches when playfully shoving each other, the standing closer to each other and the looks we would give each other. My mom said she knew the look of a boy in love and it was written all over our faces. 

“We eventually told our fathers and they seemed to take it better than we thought they would. I think our moms had a big role in helping them accept it. After a while they didn’t seem to care at all and accepted us completely. We never really came out at school, but we also didn’t hide it. Of course we got the typical dudes trying to talk shit and call us names, but whenever they would call us gay we would just say, ‘yeah, and?’ and move on. They really had nowhere to go with their insults when we didn’t hide we were together and didn’t act bothered by it. Plus we were kind of intimidating, so people mostly just left us alone. Of course the slurs hurt a little, but we can’t change people, so we just ignored it. We had each other and that’s all that mattered.”

“So.... When did he…? How did he…? Um, pass away?” Makoto awkwardly asked. He knew this was going to be the difficult part of Haru’s story. He knew this was going to hurt and he didn’t want to force Haru to talk about it, but he did say it might be good for him.

Haru sighed heavily and brought his knees to his chest. Makoto could see the sadness written all over his face. 

“Two years ago. We were nineteen. He was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer the week after graduation. Something wasn’t right with him and after me pushing him, he finally went to his mom about how he’d been feeling and she took him to the doctor. They ran some tests and found it. He was to start treatment quickly and he would have to put off going to college. He urged me to still go. We were going to be going to a local university so I tried for a semester, but ultimately I chose him. My parents weren’t too thrilled, but they understood why I wasn’t going to go back. 

“Rin was angry though. He didn’t want me to put school off for him. He would try to blame himself for it, but I wouldn’t let him. I thought he was more important. School would always be there. He needed me and I was going to be there for him. Then after a year he got worse. He wasn’t responding well to treatment and he was afraid. He would get depressed sometimes and also lash out. He was afraid I was going to leave because of his emotions being all over the place. He was afraid he was pushing me away but was also trying to push me away to a certain extent. He wanted me to stay with him, but he didn’t want to put me through that with him. That’s when I wrote him a song. I titled it “Tender.”

“That’s the one I was looking at the other day. The lyrics were beautiful and they make more sense now.”

Haru picks up his acoustic guitar and begins to [play](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnAXqEw6dUA) it. Not long after, he starts singing the words Makoto had read the other day. The song was even more beautiful than he thought.

“A couple of months shy of his twentieth birthday he passed away. I had a really hard time at first. He was my everything and he was gone.” 

Makoto saw a tear escape Haru’s eye and slide down his cheek. A few more followed before Haru brushed them away.

“It took me almost a year and a lot of support from my parents before I got back on my feet. They kept insisting I go talk to someone, but I didn’t want to. I just wanted Rin back. Now I wish I had, because maybe I would have gotten back on my feet sooner. Also Rin would kick my ass if he saw how I was. I realized that he would have been so angry with me being the lifeless person I was. He kept telling me the entire time he was sick that if he died I was not to let his death hold me down and I did exactly that. My mom said what I did was only natural and that Rin would understand. She said he would just be happy to see that I pulled myself out of that despair and that I’m working hard to get where I need to be. This past year I’ve been just working to try to save up some money for school. My parents wanted to travel and then found a nice house not too far from here. They decided to keep this apartment for me and sometimes help me with rent. I have so much to thank them for. I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have them supporting me emotionally and somewhat financially. I’d like to pursue something in music, which probably isn’t much of a shock to anyone.

“When I started realizing I had feelings for you, I was frightened. I honestly thought I’d never feel anything for anyone ever again. I tried to fight it at first. I felt like I was betraying Rin somehow. He told me I’d find someone else, but I told him there would be no way. He then told me to find someone else. He didn’t want me to be alone. His biggest fear was his death bringing me down. I promised him that wouldn’t happen and that’s basically what I let happen. I realized last night that I’ve probably let him down and I want to fix that. First, by letting you in. I need to stop treating Rin like this fragile thing no one is allowed to talk about. I need to get passed my sadness and pain and move forward like he wanted me to. I’ve been keeping you at arm’s length and I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to pull you in, wrap my arms around you and let you in completely. I love spending time with you. I’m happy when you’re around. I see what we have as something real and not a fling. I want to see how far we can go. I don’t want to be afraid of loving someone else anymore.” Haru gets up from the love seat and joins Makoto on the couch.

“I really am sorry for the way I treated you yesterday. I was so ashamed of myself afterwards.” Haru apologizes again as he holds Makoto’s hands.

“Like I said, it’s okay. I was in the wrong too. Yeah, you were harsh, but you reached out to me today to apologize and opened up to me. You did the right thing.” Makoto removes one of his hands from Haru’s and brushes his dark hair from his face adoringly before cupping his cheek.

“I want to be with you Haru. Is that what you also want?” Makoto stares into Haru’s sparkling blue eyes.

Haru stares back into Makoto’s jade ones and answers, “Yes. I’m not afraid anymore. You are the kindest and most patient person I have ever met. You radiate love and I want that in my life. I want you in my life.”

This time it’s Makoto who leans in and kisses Haru. When their lips meet Haru knows this is what he wants and that this is right. It feels so right. After a few minutes of soft and loving kisses they break apart and smile at each other. Makoto lays down on the couch and pulls Haru down with him. They just cuddle there for a while. Haru snuggles his face into Makoto’s neck and Makoto smiles happily as he runs his fingers through Haru’s hair. 

Haru smiles. This is where he wants to be. He’s getting over the past. He’s getting his life back in order, slowly, but surely and he’s not alone. He has his family, he just needs to reach out to them more. He has his friends and he has Makoto. It may take some time, but he’s going to get to where he needs to be and he doesn’t have to do it alone.

 

Fiona yells after The Silent Swimmers finish her favorite song. Her, Makoto and Tony haven’t missed a show since the first one they all attended six months ago. Makoto is almost certain her and Jeremy have something going on, but he figured he’d wait until she was ready to mention anything. He thought about teasing her like she did with him and Haru, but he doesn’t want to give her a reason to rag on him about something else. He chooses his battles wisely.

“Thank you so much! You’re all such lovely people! Thanks for coming out tonight! Now, we have something exciting for you guys. Our awesome guitarist, Haru, has recently finished a song of his own. It’s not one of ours, but he played it for us recently and we convinced him to play it for you guys tonight!”

The crowd cheers and Makoto’s eyes widen with surprise. He didn’t know Haru had finished a song. He had mentioned he’d been working on one, but didn’t want to play it for Makoto until it was finished. Makoto was kind of upset he didn’t play it for him first. He tried to not be petty about it, but he wanted to be the first one to hear it. He was jealous that Haru’s bandmates got to hear it first and now Haru was playing it for all these people without him hearing it beforehand. 

“Oh, and he’s going to SING!” Jeremy yells and the crowd yells with him.

Now Makoto is shocked. The only time Makoto has heard Haru sing was when he played “Tender” for him. He wonders why Haru decided to play and sing a song he wrote tonight of all nights, and before Makoto had even heard it!

Jeremy places a stool in front of the mic at center stage. Haru brings his electric acoustic guitar on stage and plugs it in before situating himself on the stool.

“Hello everyone.” The crowd cheers and he Haru laughs. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually spoken at one of our shows, so this is somewhat frightening.”

Makoto smiles despite being annoyed that he didn’t get dibs on hearing this song first. It’s hard being annoyed with Haru when he’s so adorably shy.

“So, um… This is going to be very different from our Silent Swimmers sound. Like Jeremy said, they convinced me to play this tonight. I wasn’t going to, but I wanted to do something special for a special someone.”

This piques Makoto’s interest as well as the crowds. There are some “aws” as well as whistles from the crowd.

“Yeah, so a lot of things have changed for the better in my life recently after years of me being down and not in a good place. One person in particular has helped me start writing songs again just for the love of music and has helped me find my love for music again. Not that I ever lost it, but I wasn’t holding it so near and dear to my heart like I used to, but that’s changed. I’ve even gone back to college for music, so things are really looking up. So this song is about not being afraid of your feelings and pulling yourself up to experience love and life. I hope you enjoy it.”

Haru locks eyes with Makoto and smiles. “This one is for you, Makoto. I love you.”

Makoto smiles wide and blushes. It’s a song for him, and he’s playing it live. He just said he loved him in front of everyone. This is why he didn’t play it for him until now. He wanted to surprise him. Now he feels bad for being irritated with Haru a few second ago.

Haru starts to [play](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSApE_9c-4E) and right off the bat it’s beautiful. It’s soft and yet his fingers still pluck the strings quickly. Makoto will never get tired of watching Haru make it look so effortless while creating such gorgeous sounds. Then he starts to sing and the words are even more beautiful.

_Take your wounds and turn them into new light_  
_Tenderness is not a flaw- don't be afraid of your own faith in something or someone_  
_Love is all we have to give_

_In the garden grove, wild and pure, we could survive here, my dear, holding onto light_  
_If your body gives away underneath the weight of the world, its unforgiving hands pull, clench all the life from us all, and it takes and it takes_  
_Be a rose in this wasteland_  
_You could bloom if you opened up your heart_

_You were not created for a world that keeps you small_  
_Find your feet and spread your arms, these walls cannot contain you_  
_Let yourself be swept away by beauty and the unknown_  
_Love will leave us bare_  
_But love will lead us there_  


When the song ends the crowd cheers loudly and Makoto has tears in his eyes. He can’t help himself and rushes the small stage. He hops onto it and Haru is smiling wide. Haru gets up from the stool and places his guitar on it to meet him and Makoto pulls him into a tight embrace before kissing him. It’s so out of character for the two of them, but they don’t care. The crowd hollers even louder at the kiss. They’ve both been swept away by beauty and the unknown and they’re letting love lead them wherever it will take them together.

“I love you, Haru” Makoto says when they break the kiss.

“I love you too, Makoto.” Haru replies.

“Okay lovebirds. I hate to break you up, but we do have a few more songs to play.” Jeremy says to them.

Makoto laughs and says, “Sorry!” as he gives Haru one more peck on the lips before jumping off stage and going back to Tony and Fiona in the crowd.

Tony is laughing while Fiona is wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at him. He blushes and turns back to Haru on stage. He sees Haru smiling at him the same way he was smiling at Rin in that old photo and he feels blessed to see that smile in person and to have that smile directed at him. 

Haru is extremely giddy for the rest of their set. He never thought he’d care for someone as much as he did for Rin. Playing that song and having Makoto rush the stage like that was the best thing to happen to him in so long and he realized he can love Makoto that much and maybe more. Rin would be so proud of him and what he’s done to better himself in the last six months. He actually smiles for the last two songs they play. He is so grateful for everything Makoto has done for him and brought out of him. He thinks about how this never would have happened and how he never would have found the friends and the love that he’s found if he hadn’t been moved to a different department at his job.

Haru has never been so grateful to have gotten in trouble at work.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it! 
> 
> I'm sosososososososo sorry for the angst and for Rin. I've never killed any of my characters and one of them being deceased before the story begins is the closest I might get because I just don't like hurting my characters lol. 
> 
> Huge shout out to my friend Kevin for Haru's band name. I laughed and screamed when he texted it to me.
> 
> Please let me know what you thought of this fic! Feedback is always appreciated! 
> 
> I'll also say I did a half ass proofread job, so if there are mistakes let me know!
> 
> p.s. For Haru's tattoos I pretty much just imagined these put together. [Right arm](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Funiquetattoo.ru%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fdolphin-012.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Funiquetattoo.ru%2Fdolphin&docid=j0HuEtQEca_F-M&tbnid=8C-GtQJjrc7YNM%3A&vet=10ahUKEwjWgtKCwMvVAhUiwYMKHQmWA_QQMwgwKAkwCQ..i&w=390&h=600&bih=654&biw=1366&q=dolphin%20tattoos%20on%20shoulder&ved=0ahUKEwjWgtKCwMvVAhUiwYMKHQmWA_QQMwgwKAkwCQ&iact=mrc&uact=8#h=600&imgdii=8C-GtQJjrc7YNM:&vet=10ahUKEwjWgtKCwMvVAhUiwYMKHQmWA_QQMwgwKAkwCQ..i&w=390) [Right arm](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fvse-o-tattoo.ru%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F03%2Fdolphin-03.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Ffittingtattoo.com%2Fmeanings%2Fdolphin&docid=R_R3qMBNHcDs0M&tbnid=5veg7nH9_2TJgM%3A&vet=10ahUKEwiez7_Pv8vVAhUD6oMKHVkGC_84yAEQMwgmKCQwJA..i&w=800&h=600&bih=654&biw=1366&q=dolphin%20tattoos%20on%20shoulder&ved=0ahUKEwiez7_Pv8vVAhUD6oMKHVkGC_84yAEQMwgmKCQwJA&iact=mrc&uact=8#h=600&imgdii=5veg7nH9_2TJgM:&vet=10ahUKEwiez7_Pv8vVAhUD6oMKHVkGC_84yAEQMwgmKCQwJA..i&w=800) [Left arm](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Ftrueartists_production%2Fattachments%2F38838%2Foriginal%2Feugen%2520trueartist.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Ftrueartists.com%2Fartists%2Feugen-mahu%3Fpage%3D2&docid=OhuD8yB071l3xM&tbnid=vKEiletb0wmnZM%3A&vet=10ahUKEwiT7-XRwMvVAhUq64MKHfWXA5gQMwg_KBEwEQ..i&w=960&h=598&bih=654&biw=1366&q=shark%20tattoos%20on%20shoulder&ved=0ahUKEwiT7-XRwMvVAhUq64MKHfWXA5gQMwg_KBEwEQ&iact=mrc&uact=8) [Left arm](https://www.google.com/search?q=shark+tattoos+on+shoulder&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg:CdlW-VMiipZHIjjvie-DAUkS9p53zGvNNOq0hhuPd1rVAJ0iVnUkkUASWx26HBSPD5oSnkibAe_1uUP6t7ZLkq2i3TCoSCe-J74MBSRL2Ed5k8kBKkwH6KhIJnnfMa8006rQRO6apcjyiLtYqEgmGG493WtUAnRGjP8f9x-VqlioSCSJWdSSRQBJbEcoEtZin1bh6KhIJHbocFI8PmhIRi_1PbgzmH5NoqEgmeSJsB7-5Q_1hFqpVONftc7EyoSCa3tkuSraLdMEW-L9ZJCYEUk&tbo=u&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjG8qjmwMvVAhVs0YMKHRifCoIQ9C8IHw&biw=1366&bih=654&dpr=1#imgrc=OR0y4Z07nZoKXM:)


End file.
